What is a “Medical Mom”?
Until I became one, I never even knew that the term “Medical Mom” existed. It’s a term that us moms have given to ourselves to try and validate and make sense of the chaos in our world. Two words are often much easier to say than the lengthy story of what it really means to us. We are part mom, part expert in our child’s specific disability, and part super hero trying to manage and cope with it all. A mom becomes a medical mom the day the doctor comes into the room and states there is an issue with her child’s health. It’s a day no medical mom will ever forget as it’s the day her whole perspective of what she needs to do as a mom begins to shift into becoming a medical mom.
A medical mom has accepted that the hospital is like a second home.
A medical mom endures a whole new level of exhaustion both emotionally and physically.
A medical mom carries the constant mental load of needing to know which doctors to call in what department, what medications to give and when, and knowing when and where supplies need to be ordered to make sure she never runs out.
A medical mom always has an Emergency bag packed and is always at the ready, because she’s been caught off guard before with needing to bring her child to the ER immediately.
A medical mom has learned a whole new meaning to the word ‘advocacy’ as she spends her days fighting for the best for her child.
A medical mom meets a whole new community of people that include other medical parents and their super heroes who have fought or are currently fighting through their battles.
A medical mom spends her days washing medical and feeding supplies, making sure they are clean and ready to go when needed, making phone calls, and going to appointments.
A medical mom has eyes that see things that would keep a ‘normal’ person awake at night.
A medical mom trains herself to become numb as she holds her screaming child down for the millionth time during bloodwork or scans. It’s a scream that leaves a battle wound on a medical mom each and every time.
A medical mom is required to stop her heart from feeling the constant and repeated defeat in order to help her cope for her child who needs her to be strong.
A medical mom cries alone in the bathroom or into her coffee behind her sunglasses when she’s finally given a chance to be by herself, and replays the discussions she just had with the doctors.
A medical mom is constantly hungry and never really pays attention to the last time she ate or that she’s been living off coffee and whatever snacks she can pop into her mouth quickly in order to keep going.
A medical mom is one of the greatest warriors you will ever meet. A woman who always remains positive and light on the outside, because she knows that’s what her child needs to grow and heal, while being overwhelmed with fear and pain on the inside.
A medical mom’s world is one that you will never be able to see. They will hide the constant battlefield they are in to protect you from enduring the pain with them.
No one warns you or prepares you for the hardships of watching your child on death’s doorsteps over and over again. It’s something no one can put words to. Something no one wants to put words to. We often feel helpless while we watch our child fight the biggest battles. In the end, it has given us a love for our child that is very different as we have almost lost them several times. It makes their achievements so much more meaningful. This is an important fact to remember as a medical mom because children don’t care about this title that we’ve given ourselves. It’s made it easier to explain to people we aren’t just a ‘normal’ mom. But to our child, they don’t see part expert and part super hero when they see us. They just see mom, doing what mom’s do, because this is their ‘normal’. They don’t know that other moms aren’t doing all the extra steps that we are. It’s often forgotten in the midst of the chaos, that we are still moms. And from one medical mom to another, you are doing an outstanding job being a mom!
