Welcome to Holland!

When our first son was born, we went through a very tough time at BC Children’s Hospital. It was a lot to handle and some things became hard to wrap our head around. One of the social workers that was helping my husband and I, gave us this poem. At the time, neither of us really understood it for what it meant. After a lot more thought was put into it in the months after discharge, it made more sense and became something we both could relate to on many different aspects in our life.

There were many things that we missed out on experiencing as new parents for both of our sons. For example, both of our sons spent their first month of life in the NICU at BC Children’s Hospital. We didn’t get to experience bringing home our new born baby and spending our first couple of days with our new baby in the comfort of our own home with either of them. We didn’t get to enjoy those newborn snuggles in the early days because they were connected to various tubes and cords that were helping keep them alive. It’s hard knowing that we will never get to experience so many things that most parents dream of when they have a new baby. It’s a loss that we are reminded of every time someone we know has a baby. Our start to parenthood didn’t go as we had planned it. But what things in life do go exactly as planned?

Welcome to Holland - By Emily Perl Kingsley

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.